Ok, so this is going to be ramble after ramble, very boring to read and not at all interesting but I'll start right at the beginning because I think the history is important (and I have WAY too much time on my hands)
Age 6 or 7 - I told you it would be the beginning!!
I kissed too many boys. My teeth fell out. I was thrilled by this oral change. Not only was I growing up but because my teeth had started to fall out, it meant I'd soon be old enough to start Brownies :o) Oh, what I wouldn't do to go back to those times in my life again.... My "big teeth" arrived, I remember mostly just having 2 massive front teeth. Then I had a whole mouth full of new teeth. Nothing abnormal. Didn't really bother me. Although my two front teeth (Upper central incisors precisely) are HUGE!!
Age 9 - I had a school photo taken. I'm wearing a hidous green jumper with a row of white bunnies along the bottom (Well it is 1988!) My hair looks like I cut it myself, blindfolded, I have a million freckles and I have wonky fang teeth. Am quite convinced that this photograph affected my self-esteem for the rest of my school life, if not still.
Aged 15 - Still hate my two "wonky fang teeth". I think they're massive and no matter how many times I clean my teeth, they always seem yellow. I don't drink red wine (Well, I'm 15) I don't drink coffee, I do smoke. I ask my dentist again about getting them straightened with a brace. Before now, kids had removeable braces although for the last few years most braces were fixed "train track" braces and being 15, these people got ribbed for it (apart from Kirsty*. She was cool. No one dared to "diss" Kirsty, everyone loved Kirsty apparently!) (*Name hasn't been changed to protect her identity, she really was called Kirsty and she really was that popular!) Anyway, Dentist said I couldn't have a brace but maybe when I was older I could "choose" to get one. What she basically meant was "Not on the NHS love, but come back when you're 18 and we'll charge you a limb for it privately". No brace for me. Bothered by wonky fang teeth.
Aged 18 - Ask dentist again about getting wonky fang teeth straightened. For some reason she doesn't want me to have it done. Outrageous quotes with threat of 4 extractions. Not tempting...
Age 27 - Get new dentist. Speak to new dentist about straightening my top wonky fang teeth. I'm told I have 2 options. Porcelain veneers which will look incredible (think Cheryl Cole, Simon Cowell) but will mean I have stumpy, prick teeth underneath and it'll cost me £3000 or fixed braces which I'll have to wear for 18-24 months. Now bearing in mind I now sing semi-professionally (which doesn't help towards my teeth paranoia at all) I have to be aware that a fixed brace is likely to affect my diction. I am starting to resign myself to having my wonky fang teeth forever. :o(
Age 30 - Get brand new dentist. Guess what the first thing I ask is....!?
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